The thing about having a large project is, you have to do work when you really don’t want to, so it’s easier to finish when your so done with work and having a mental breakdown because you hate being forced to do useless things.
Also I have several giant school projects due by the end of this week. My highschool is a project-based school, which basically means, we don’t take tests and we have one major project per class due once a quarter, and it’s worth 40% of our grade. It’s VERY high pressure and let me just tell you…
HUGE DISCLAIMER: I did not edit any of the following you’re about to read. You know what that means? No you don’t because that’s the point, my writing is just a dump of my thoughts. You won’t understand it. But if you’re bored or if for some reason you have a lot of brain capacity at the moment, go ahead and read on. THANK YOU!!!
I prefer to think I’m an interesting person. I mean, who doesn’t want to think they’re cool?
But what makes someone cool? I don’t know. And personally I like someone who is subtly unique. What I mean is, someone who seems ‘normal’ but when you take a closer look, they are wildly unique. Allow me explain the benifits of knowing a subtly unique person.
they don’t come off as overbearing, scary, or uncontainable. Their unique-ness is much more bite-sized
they usually think crazy. Their ideas might come across as insane, but don’t worry, they thought it through…in their own way. Which could possibly mean they didn’t think it through at all.
All my friends are like this. And all my friends are so much different from one another. I can’t stand the idea of hanging out with similar people. Like why!? Save room in your brain and only have one friend at that point.
One of my friends is actually psychotic. Don’t take ANYTHING they say seriously, because goodness knows they live on another planet and the things they say are just…
Another one of my friends is SUPER lowkey. But they have EVERY second planned out to the T. Nothing gets by them. EVER
Another can tell you everything you don’t want to know about every animal ever recorded in a National Geographic. It’s less of a way of thinking and more just cool…I guess.
Another will kill.
Another falls in love twenty times a day. They are mentally unable of thinking anything wrong of anyone. As soon as they see someone, they’ll tell you they’re in love. Because they are. They’re in love with everyone.
You see? These are SUBTLY unique people. Of course, it’s impossible to explain the complexity of a human personality in a blog, written under 30 mins, but the overarching point is, make friends with strange people. Please. You’ll never figure them out. But that’s the point.
I got my homework done early today and I decided to watch someone youtube. There is this one influencer who goes around to different cities of the world and asks super personal questions to random people on the street. Today’s topic was “Tell me about your first love” and it was crazy how people lit up, they smiled and they described their first loves like sunsets, like coming home, like a safe feeling. It was so fun to watch, I felt like they were all radiating this next-level happiness, I could feel it even through my screen.
It also made me feel super sad. Because I’ve never felt like that. I know I’m only fifteen but what if I want to feel love? Is that too much to ask from so young a person?
wants to be super mysterious and closed off and they other part of me if like “that’s really boring, I’ll have no friends plus it’s much more interesting if you tell every single person you know your deepest darkest secrets” This is a problem. Because now everyone knows everything. But then do none of them know anything??? Maybe I am mysterious after all…..
I feel like everyone WANTS to be a part of something, everyone wants to get together with people and just have a good time, I mean, people thrive on human interaction, and we want to have a good time. But I ALSO feel like no one actually is willing to putin the time/effort to make those plans. Why? because we fear being rejected, or stood up, and it’s something we try to avoid. Unfortunately, this causes us to avoid human interaction altogether.
So I think my new years resolution(even though it’s only Oct. 31st) is to throw more parties, more get togethers, more movie nights WHATEVER. because it’s fun. And if you want friends, you have to make a friendship. And you don’t make a friendship by secretly wishing you knew someone better. Just saying.
So I did that today, I came up with a plan to get a bunch of people together, and it was FUN. So that’s greaaaat. Yaya.
Fun fact of the night: My sister is literally the most GORGEOUS person on the planet.
HEYYYYY WHAT DO YOU DO IF LIKE, YOUR BEST FRIEND HAS LIKE SEVEN CRUSHES AND YOU LIKE ONE OF THEM. Just cause she has tons of crushes, won’t make her feelings any less valid if she finds out that I’ve been flirting with one of them all week. I hate to be selfish like this butttttt she likes soooooo many guyssss am I allowed to just like ONE of them?????? Goddamnit. In a way, it’s really annoying, she talks about all of these boys and I’m just dying inside because one of them I’ve been flirting with. And if she finds out she’s just going to feel like she has to be defensive and ‘take him’ from me. ahhhhhhhh This is some middle school shit yo. She can’t get mad if shes always Admiring from afar, of ALL these guys, and one of the gets taken. It’s like she marks her scent of ALL these dudes, almost as if to keep me from taking them. Like I only like ONE of them!!!! I’m not taking all her chances at having a boyfriend. AHHH i’m such a terrible person. I guess I’ll just continue to suppress all my feelings. Cause friendship is more important right? I shouldn’t even be TALKING to this guy for crying out loud.
AHHHHHHH life has been hectic as H-E-doublehockeysticks (as my first grade teacher Mrs. Freiello would say).
But I went to New York today as a day trip with my parents adit was super funnnnn so I’ll just dump a bunch of photos I took while I was there and call it a ‘blog’ cause why not. And I’m stalling from doing my REAL work so hey why not.
About a month ago, I wrote about my favorite songs at the moment and why I loved them. And I think now is the time to update you, because new songs have entered my life. And I only write this blog to tell the great abyss all the things that real people have no interest in listening to. So here ya go!
1: Cable by Verzache–like all great songs, this one is less than three minutes. It’s almost annoying, you have to play the song multiple times just so you can soak up all the goodness.
2: Stay by Mallrat–this is one of those songs that just pop up in your recommended and you never really pay attention to it, but after you hear it twice, you truly can appreciate its beauty. It’s hard to explain, but give it a chance, it’s really good.
3: Problems by DeathbyRomy–this is the most selfish anthem you ever did hear. In fact, when I first heard it, it made me mad. But like most pop songs, it got catchy. And after hearing it a few times I slowly understood that this song is satire. In a horribly ironic way. And I love it. It has such a bad attitude.