ahoy. I’m back. I’ve noticed that I only blog when I’m at the end of my rope of boredom. It does absolutely nothing for be aside from giving me something to do in which I FEEL profession and like I’m actually getting things done.
I have developed a very bad, very vain, habit. When I’m bored, particularly since quarantine, I’ve been taking a shitload of selfies. Now, this does work for me as a form of self love, because I don’t hate the way I look, buttttt it doesn’t take long for me to become bored of my appearance. Like, I see picture of myself and I can no longer tell if it’s a good one of a bad one, it’s just eh. Holy shit, I just read that past sentence and omg first world problems I’m going to shut my mouth. Actually, I’m gonna keep going. I’m friends with a girl who snapchats me a lot, now, I don’t particularly like snapchat, it’s kinda eh. I guess I hate the component of how it’s always about your face and other people’s faces, like fr man, I dont give a fuck, if i wanted to see how you looked that day, I’d facetime you. But at the same time, the app lets people express themselves through photos in a low-pressure environment, whereas on Instagram, every photo you post has to be the best photo you have of yourself. Anyways, this girl snapchats me a lot, she also has tiktok where she makes lot’s of vain-ish videos. Now, by no means is this a bad thing, she is a very attractive girl (not that that would make a difference) and it’s nice to see that she feels good about herself, however, I feel the pressure of taking just as many photos and videos as she does, resulting in me feeling very bored of my appearance. Anyways, my friend will often say things like “omg you took the best photo of me!!” and I honestly have yet to feel like any photo of me is good, like, I don’t hate my appearance, I just don’t feel like any of the pictures I take are worth sharing with the world. so. This leaves me feeling. IDK honestly, I’m just pissed that I’ve become so shallow that I’m writing an entire blog about the way I look. Ew no thanks. now, I could save this as a draft and move on, but naw, I’ll post anyways.